Taipei Day 1: Modern Toilet Restaurant (9 Nov 2017)

Oh, Rachel. Back at it again with the backdated posts.

I feel like I can't move on and talk about more current events (as current as they can get, with my level of procrastination) if I don't at least write about my trip to Taipei with Nicholas from November last year. After all it was our first trip together so this milestone deserves to be documented beyond just photos. :)

Pretty sure most Singaporean couples start small with their first trips and pick nearer spots like the holy B trinity - Bangkok, Bali, Batam (all of which I've never been to). Wait, was it Batam or Bintan? I don't even know the difference between the two, they're both in Indonesia and sound similar and have pretty much the same activities so whatev HAHA. Anyway, I've had people asking me why we picked Taiwan for a first trip, isn't that too ambitious blahblahblah...nothing is too ambitious if you're going with the right person so I don't really see what the big deal is?

I also tend to operate by the GO BIG OR GO HOME philosophy.

The holy B trinity was never part of my travel bucket list. I've always set my sights higher on further places like France, Greece, Japan, USA, etc etc. Typical Singaporeans enjoy doing pretty much nothing but shopping, eating, and lazing about while on holiday, so the holy B trinity is ideal for them, but if I'm going to spend money on a vacation I'd much rather go for one where I can enjoy richer experiences (and by richer I don't mean in the monetary sense). I mean, why would I want to spend a few hundred bucks on a flight and hotel to do unexciting things like lying on a beach towel for hours and stuffing my face all day? It might be relatively affordable when compared to other destinations but I just don't feel like that $300+ spent is justified.

Sure, the clothes in Bangkok may be dirt cheap, but the clothes there are not my style so I'll probably walk away empty handed. I wouldn't fork out even just $3 for a basic bitch off-shoulder crop top that any generic Singaporean hoe is wearing. I would never go on holiday specifically to shop and as it is I'm perfectly content buying my Japanese knockoffs from Taobao.

That, and also 'cause I got stressed and started crying (for real HAHA) and saying we were gonna get mugged or kidnapped while attempting to book tix to Bangkok in 2016. So we decided to save up for a nicer, safer, cleaner destination instead.

In the plane!

Eww he's like a totally different person with his glasses on HAHAHA

The only reason why I even considered Bangkok back then because I know it's a place Nicholas wants to visit. But evidently I wasn't able to put aside my own reservations to actually let the trip materialise HAHA. One day in the not-so-distant future I would like to be that good girlfriend and make that trip happen (and I'm sure it'd be fun because as far as I'm concerned we'd plan for beyond the typical touristy shit) but...maybe today is not the day. 😂

Since we couldn't afford Japan at that time, Taiwan seemed like the most natural choice because it's like a more budget-friendly, Chinese version of it. And best of all there's no language barrier! (As shitty as my Mandarin may be I'm still adept enough to ask for directions and have a basic conversation okay) It was also supposed to be both our first times in a country we've never been to before, but work unexpectedly took that first Taiwan experience away from me a month before our trip. Luckily our itinerary was completely different and most of my work trip was spent in Taichung anyway, so everything worked out nicely yay.

~ Wonstar Hotel Ximen ~

Congratulations if you made it past my 600+ word intro

If anyone's interested, we got our Tigerair flights and 4-night hotel stay at Wonstar Hotel Ximen at about $544 per person (including breakfast, baggage, and taxes) off Expedia. It's quite a no-frills place, our room wasn't huge and there was no bathtub, but there was just enough space for both of us (and for me to leave my clothes and makeup all lying around). Well not like we were going to spend a lot of time indoors anyway so it was good enough.

The room was actually nicer than we expected and it had this simple but fresh design that was different from - and much better than - what we saw on Expedia. Turns out the hotel was recently renovated and Expedia didn't update their photos, so what we were met with was a pleasant surprise.

The corridors also had quirky touches like these:

With my pink luggage from Giant which I bought at 50% off ($35 only!!!) thanks to GSS. Haha don't be fooled, this photo was actually taken just before we left for the airport on our last day (hence the lack of eye makeup). Procrastination 101.

The buffet breakfast was cheena style - no croissants, no bacon. Even the eggs were cooked in a cheena way. I should've known, we were in Taiwan after all! I mostly survived on toast, braised tau pok, and sausages every morning and didn't touch anything else HAHA at least the sausages were the Western sort!!! The food wasn't bad, but I'm the kind of person who needs my pastries and English breakfasts.

Part of the reason why we decided to go for the buffet breakfast was because we were noobs and didn't know that there would be loads of street food and convenience stores in the vicinity -_-

~ Modern Toilet Restaurant + street mochi ~

We arrived in the late afternoon/early evening and by the time we checked in it was dinner time. So our agenda for the day was just to visit the poop-themed Modern Toilet Restaurant, which was less than a 10-minute walk from our hotel.

I love making poop jokes, telling everyone graphic details about my poop sessions, and well, pooping. And I've seen countless videos about this place since I was a kid, so I'm glad I finally fulfilled my childhood dream of visiting it! (Clearly I didn't have very high aspirations in life)

TOILET BOWLS FOR SEATS!!! Wow these toilet bowls are actually very pretty, if you look closely you'll see sand and shells and uhm dead starfish in the transparent covers. I need to have such a pretty toilet bowl in my future home!!! After all what's a queen without her throne?

We made a reservation in advance so we were led up to the 2nd floor which was empty save for another couple. This place will probably ALWAYS be a tourist hotspot, so unless you wanna sit with the crowd downstairs, it's best to make a booking online.

 POOP, POOP EVERYWHERE!!!!! Hmm I wonder if they have regular patrons who are scat fetishists...

Even the table had a piece of shit in it, how very appetising

As with most themed cafes we expected the food to be not too great, so we skipped all the Western  stuff like pasta and shared a hotpot - because it's quite impossible to fuck that up. I mean it's just soup and ingredients thrown in, right? The soup wasn't particularly tasty but it was decent enough with the sauce. We also ordered mozzarella sticks because you can't exactly fuck mozzarella up either, and that was quite nice.

The hotpot came with some ice-cream that was coiled up like a piece of poop. It was cute but tasted like blended up ice mixed with cheapo chocolate and we could actually feel some tiny ice chunks inside. Oh well. Guess you could say it was.............shit. *ba dum tss*

Imagine if someone actually shat this much in a urinal

I wouldn't visit this place again but it was something that definitely had to be done so I don't regret it! Not visiting this toilet restaurant when in Taiwan is like not going to Shake Shack when in New York!!! Except that I would totally visit Shake Shack again cos the burgers are SO. GOOD.

A random shithead

More shitheads. We grabbed the poop stuffed toy from the shelves as props. Check out the flies on the wall.

 Booth seat shaped like a toilet bowl

 EVEN THE SINKS ARE TOILET BOWL-SHAPED. They really pulled out all the stops, man.

🎵 I'M A POOPY POOPER,YEAH!!!! (Sung to the tune of the Spongebob Goofy Goober song) 🎵

Spent a fair bit of time taking photos, and then we tried some mochi on a stick from a street stall a stone's throw away. We liked the mochi so much that we went back for it 2 more times throughout our 5-day stay. It's prepared on the spot so it's fresh and hot!

 Looks like pee but it's really honey

My favourite was the one with honey, but they also have other flavours like peanut and matcha. The milk one was horrible for some reason, it was supposed to be condensed milk but it had a very smelly taste?? Like, you know how when you eat mutton you can kind of "taste" the farm?? Yeah, this condensed milk had that kind of smell/taste bleaurghhhh after that I just stuck to honey all the way.

Check out the sign, they spelled Mochi as Mgchi HAHAHA.

Our holy little Ash Wednesday celebration

One thing that's consistent about me is the fact that I always procrastinate, am always late, but am well worth the wait. So in the month of March I am now gonna write a quick one on what went down on ASH WEDNESDAY last month.

Jesus said we gotta show our love to one another so Nicholas and I spent Ash Wednesday celebrating our love with a candlelit 4-course dinner, roses, and rose wine. What a great start to Lent! ♱

Jesus survived 40 days in the desert and that's no mean feat. 🙏 While I can't really do Math, pretty sure we survived >1000 days with each other from the start so that's pretty amazing. Hallelooooo!



For those who don't get it, Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fell on the same day this year HAHAHAHA uh oh blasphemous.

Now I'm not someone who would wanna go big with a 7 course meal for Valentine's (I can barely get 4 courses into my tiny body) but as much as the event is a sOcIaL cOnStRuCt or whatever you wanna call it, I think it's still nice to celebrate special occasions like these...without getting ripped off. So we had a nice dinner that was still decently affordable.

Choosing a place to eat was a bit of a tedious affair because other than keeping the price point in mind, we also had to avoid all those with fishy dishes stuff because I don't like seafood. In the end we picked Cali Cafe at Rochester, it's kinda far for us but the 4-course Vday set looked good and was just $108 for 2, with free rose wine.

Prior to this we've only celebrated Valentine's twice - once when we weren't exactly together-together, where we had ramen at Northpoint and he gave me a toilet paper rose covered in glitter, and last year where we had a proper not-too-pricey dinner at Stuttgart Blackforest S-Cafe. Oh yeah I also remember that last year I was having my period so in the middle of the dinner I had a case of period shits and had to disappear for a bit.

Last year I told him not to buy me any flowers because I knew they'd be expensive, so he folded me some paper roses. This year he is finally gainfully employed so I just kept quiet HAHAHAHA. He didn't disappoint, got a bigass bouquet delivered to my office hehe.

It's not every year that you get to receive flowers on Ash Wednesday!!!

Oh yeah, speaking of lavish dinners and social constructs, here's a public service announcement:

People being all bitter and saying "Valentine's day is capitalism", shut the fuck up okay. Being single or being part of a couple who doesn't like celebrating special occasions doesn't make you better than everyone else *rolls eyes*

Your birthday is capitalism. You are a walking piece of capitalism. Buying some cheap-looking Hypebeast t-shirt for $200 is total capitalism.

Also, your fried chicken bouquets for lonely gluttons are oily and gross.

This year I got to be one of those girls walking around with a big ass bouquet, attracting attention and taking up extra space on the train and I enjoyed every minute of it. Not sorry. I have someone who loves me enough to pull out all the stops and let me have a good time and I'm glad for that.

Would we have enjoyed each others' company just as much at a food court eating $3.50 ban mian? Yes. But sometimes it's nice to make that one night extra special. We celebrated but we didn't splurge and we enjoyed ourselves.

Nicholas said that ultimately he would prefer a cosy dinner at home but currently we have no home LOL. I'd prefer dining out for such occasions but I wouldn't mind. In the end you gotta be willing to take turns to do what your partner likes so you can make each other happy!

I have a colleague whose boyfriend didn't want to go for Vday dinner at all because according to her "he's a cheapo" (her words not mine)...but he earns a good salary. She had to hint to him multiple times and her desperation grew as the day approached. Thankfully he came through in the end!!! But my point is, it shouldn't have to come to that and I feel celebrating events as a couple is important. Even if one of you think it's stupid, it might be important to the other person.

Moving on...

Cute! 🐷

Look at this idiot posing like a basic bitch

His mother actually told him to abstain 😂

And there I was turning everything Unholy.

Not gonna lie, a huge part of why I wanted to document this occasion was because of all the unholy jokes I cleverly thought of. HAHA.

Soup:

Cream of Jerusalem Artichoke

No pictures because I was excited to drink the soup and didn't want it to get cold. If it's from Jerusalem, it must be holy in some way right? I'm sure Jesus was proud of us.

WE OFFER THIS WINE~ 𝅘𝅥𝅯🎜𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅗𝅥 (you'll get the joke if you're Catholic)

EVEN THEIR CANDLES WERE LIKE THE ONES COMMONLY USED FOR ROSARY SESSIONS HAHAHA. See, best of both worlds, Jesus + Valentine's! :P

Starters:

Grilled Hokkaido Scallop with Cauliflower Feta Puree & Pomegranate (His)
Pan Seared Foie Gras with Sauteed Figs in Shiraz & Caramelised Apple (Mine)

The scallops were not bad! No fishy smell/taste and the cheese sauce was good.

Photos are a bit shitty cos I hastily took them with my phone. My #1 priority was to eat.

Mine! It was quite a generous piece :)

Mains:

Snow Cod Wrapped with Bacon & Served with Saffron Risotto (His)

Angus Grain Fed Tenderloin with Gorgonzola Sauce & Baby Vegetables (Mine)

Didn't take a picture of his fish but here's my steak. The cheese sauce was a bit sickening on its own but it went GREAT with the steak! Glad that the steak was tender and didn't have any of that bloody taste and I like how it was seared :)

Dessert:

Opera Served with Seasonal Fruit

Well basically it was a chocolate cake with berries lah.

Shit stain or chocolate?

Shit jokes aside we both liked the cake, the chocolatey taste was strong enough and while the cake layers were light, they weren't airy and there was good bite.

Things I do during Ash Wednesday dinner. I put the raspberry on my pinky and said it looked like a hat so Nicholas drew a face on it HAHAHAHA I was quite tipsy by then and couldn't stop laughing.

Here's the only ambience shot I have

As you can see from the video above the tables were quite closely packed together and the place wasn't swanky, in fact it was pretty casual. But it was good enough for me especially since the food was yummy and affordable. The fairy lights were a nice touch too, though not sure if they were just too lazy to remove them from Christmas haha!

Service was great too, the staff helped every couple snap a photo and printed it out for free as a keepsake!

Not the printout, this is from my own camera. Check out the Chinese New Year 福 sign at the back.

Here's where the abrupt ending comes: we sat outside for a bit and then got sleepy and went home. The end.

Trying the Melon Kiwano, a very strange fruit, for the first time

A while back (actually, MONTHS back because I'm a procrastinator who can't keep my blog together) Nicholas and I came across some Giant atrium sale at Plaza Singapura with all sorts of expensive imported foodstuff like wine and fancy biscuits and whatnot. And we were about to leave after a bit because there were no free samples of anything (boooo!) when we spotted a whole cation of this alien-looking thing at a rather small and inconspicuous fruit section:

Learnt from the signage that it's not some alien egg waiting to hatch some monstrosity that would take over our country Starship Troopers style, but a MELON KIWANO from New Zealand. And that it was previously a whopping $9.90, reduced to $6.99 (still very expensive). Yes, a mere fruit supposedly worth 10 bucks and it's not even Japanese. I'm not some White people/White country hater, okay, I think fruits from New Zealand are great too! But c'mon Japanese fruits are of a whole different class and when you put them on your tongue you're basically tasting heaven.

I just don't eat fruits from China because you don't know whether the fruits you're eating are actually fruits or just solid products of chemical mixtures masquerading as fruits. Ever heard of fake China eggs? Search up the vids on YouTube, it's frightening. Also, my dad's friend says that every time he eats Fuji apples from China he gets a tummy ache. I'm not surprised.

Hahaha look at these curious things unceremoniously chucked next to the peasant apples like they're no big deal. Okay to be fair, these melon kiwano were laid out in pretty baskets. The apples only got cardboard cartons.

Imagine if you had that many nipples!!! Actually upon closer inspection they look like pimples ready to explode with pus. Nipples pimples nipples pimples nipples pimples. Say that really fast 5x.

Stood there for about 10 minutes marvelling over the strange fruit and playing with them while deciding whether or not to buy them. In the end we decided to just splash the $$$ because how often do you even come across such a specimen?? Plus it was on offer anyway.

According to the mighty Internet you're supposed to cut a melon kiwano lengthwise and scoop the flesh out to eat it, much like how you'd eat a passionfruit. And so we got to work. The scraping was rather tedious and the end result didn't look too appetising. Squelch. Squelch. Squelch. By the time we got to the second half of the fruit we were already quite tired.

Now, also according to the might Internet, the melon kiwano tastes like a cross between a cucumber and kiwi, though apparently it starts tasting more like a banana as it ripens. I know it's difficult to imagine such a taste because the combination sounds impossible, but whoever came up with that description was pretty spot on! On first impression it did have a cucumbery taste, and not just because of the cucumber seed-like texture of the flesh. But soon after that I got a slight banana taste. As strange as this sounds - imagine eating a banana with the texture of cucumber seeds. The aftertaste was a little sharper and sourish so I'm guessing that was the kiwi bit, although it also kind of tasted like pineapple (?) to me?

Verdict: The experience was definitely interesting, but I'm not going to actively seek out this fruit because it's not something I'd ever find myself craving (unlike other fruits like watermelon or strawberry). Don't regret trying it though! Maybe we'll buy it again 10 years later just to relive the experience for fun, but other than that I don't see myself eating it again anytime soon.

When I first started writing this post a couple of months ago this fruit started appearing EVERYWHERE but I haven't really seen it around lately, not sure if it's because it's out of season or if there's just no demand. It IS pretty pricey as well, even at neighbourhood fruit stalls, so that's probably a turnoff to most people too.

I went bar-hopping and remembered why I don't do such things

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

[Sponsored] Double the fun with The Woosh, Wild Wild Wet's newest water slide

I was probably 16 the last time I visited Wild Wild Wet at Downtown East, and I'll be honest here - the reason why I never revisited for the longest time is because while they had one or two star rides, everything was still too mild for me overall. And as I grew older, WWW was a place I'd associate with secondary school class chalet-goers and, well, juvenility in general.

But recently, I was invited by Sample Store to experience The Woosh, Wild Wild Wet's newest water slide, and boy was I pleasantly surprised by how much this waterpark has since expanded!

For one, the waterpark has now doubled in size, with a bunch of cool new slides for even more excitement. And instead of the simple cottage-style chalets of the early 00s, there's now the sleeker D'Resort, a cluster of nature-inspired resort rooms integrated with WWW itself.

~ The Woosh Launch Party ~

 

  

The Woosh launch event kicked off with a tea spread by Rasel, beautifully arranged in a rustic country-style setup. We were treated to yummy chicken and beef sliders, as well as little canapes like vegetable ratatouilles, mushroom vol-au-vents, and pasta salad.

 I especially liked the vanilla bavarios in shooters! I had 3 :P

 There were also fun stage games for attendees, led by a hilarious emcee.

If you're wondering why the game participants in the photo above are all in couple wear, that's because we were all attempting to set a record for the Most Number of People In Pairs Dressed Identically in the Singapore Book of Records!

Us being matchy, with our record setting certs. Even our slippers are the same colour!

Okay, so this is the best Nicholas and I could come up with, since we're of different genders HAHA. You can't really go wrong with black on black! We briefly contemplated matching onesies, but nah, not in that heat lol. We're not the kind of couple who'd normally wear matchy clothes, but it was fun being part of the 111 duos (222 people!) participating in the record setting. :)

Us Sample Store bloggers also got a pretty awesome goodie bag, including Banana Boat sunscreen, a waterproof phone case from to help make photo-taking in the water much easier, and luxurious toiletries. Thanks for all the gifts!

That SPF 110 was much-needed in the crazy heat

~ The Woosh ~

 

The Woosh is Wild Wild Wet's latest addition, and at 50m long, it's Singapore's longest inflatable freestyle water slide! Wondering why the launch event had the theme "Seeing Double"? Well, The Woosh allows two people to slide in tandem, so you can have fun racing a friend down to see who reaches the end first.

The initial drop - as the name of the ride suggests - was a quick woooooosh, followed by a looong stretch of horizontal sliding. Unfortunately I kinda got stuck halfway along the horizontal path! Perhaps I'm not heavy enough?? :P Hmm I felt the slide could've done with a bit more water for a smoother ride.

I saw people going on it with floats and mats though, so maybe you'll need that for a little extra boost. Use your imagination and experiment with different positions, and slide headfirst, belly down, or even backwards - it's up to you really!

The Woosh is extremely family-friendly, and suitable for people of all ages, whether young or old. And it'll only be up for a limited time till 30th July (school holidays, public holidays, Fridays – Sundays only) , so head down quick if you wish to experience it for yourself!

 

~ Other new rides at Wild Wild Wet ~

 

Apart from The Woosh, we also had the pleasure of discovering other relatively new rides (opened over '16 and this year) in the compound.

Royal Flush

 

Image source: Downtown East

Not sure why it was named this way, but perhaps the Royal Flush was designed to emulate how ~stuff~ gets flushed down the toiletbowl? :P HAHA! You sit in a float of up to 4 people, whizz down a tube into a round well, only to whizz down again for a second drop, and up and down a giant curve!

This was the first thrill ride we took during our visit and it didn't disappoint! Wheeeeee

 

Torpedo

Hands down my favourite was the Torpedo, an enclosed slide which starts off with a crazy FREE-FALL. You get into a capsule standing, and once the 5-second countdown goes off, the platform you're standing on will be released - causing you to shoot vertically down in a free-fall before going through many twists and turns!

Warning: there'll be water within the slide spraying at you from all directions. Remember to steal breaths of air as you're going down the winding tunnels!

This was SUPER FUN and I was really really impressed! And as a testament of how thrilling and fast this ride is, let me just share with y'all that each of the three times I went on it, I got a wedgie. Yup, it was THAT fast! HAHAHA. If you're planning to go on this ride, my advice is, don't wear a skimpy bikini, because it might just get a little out of place - I'm not kidding HAHA.

Free Fall, Vortex, and Kraken Racers

 

Unfortunately, these 3 new thrill rides were temporarily closed when we visited, but I'd love to try them out in the future! The Free Fall (yellow) in particular looks terrifying - in a good way. JUST LOOK AT THAT STRAIGHT DROP!!!! I'm definitely not gonna miss this!

 ~ Old favourites ~

 

Though they've added exciting new rides to their collection, Wild Wild Wet has also retained their old favourites which many of us have been familiar with since our childhood days, such as:

Shiok River

Ular-Lah and The Water Works

Slide Up!

 

Carrying that heavy float up those flights of stairs just to experience sliding up and down this giant "U" is always worth it.

For the kids: Professor's Playground and Kidz Zone

 

Professor's Playground is the one with the giant water bucket that both kids and adults love!

Stole a photo op at Kidz Zone, hehe

~ Chilling in style ~

 

If you want to set yourself apart from the crowd and have an exclusive shaded space to chill at, you can now rent a cabana here. Perfect for birthday parties!

 

But if that's a tad extravagant for you, not to worry, there are numerous deck chairs all over the waterpark too.

You can also rent fancy floats in shapes like flamingos, gummy bears, and of course, the ever-popular unicorn.

~ Wild Wild Wet hacks ~

 

During my visit I happened to discover some pretty cool hacks, so, just sharing them here to help make your visit an even more fuss-free one!

Bikini Bay/Muscle Bay aren't the ony toilets at WWW

 

You'd probably make a beeline to the Bikini Bay and Muscle Bay near the entrance of WWW to change and shower at, but a lot of people don't seem to know that there's actually a second toilet, also with shower facilities, towards the back of the waterpark, near the Tsunami! It was completely empty when I went, compared to Bikini Bay that was swarming with people.

 

It's really clean too, with a good amount of cubicles :)

You can re-open your locker as many times as you choose

We didn't know this until we collected our stuff at the end of the day, but unlike the usual lockers which you say bye bye to once you remove your items, you can actually re-open your locker as and when you please, until you decide to close it for good! Which is really useful if you wish to get your phone out halfway, or need your towel to dry off so you can re-apply your sunblock.

And yes, the lockers here are super high tech now! Everything is digital. And the lockers come in various sizes, small, medium, and large. The largest one (above) are good for about 6 people's items, so it's pretty affordable if you go in a group and share the cost.

Store tiny items in lockers near rides, for FREE

 

Some of you might need your glasses/prescription goggles to navigate your way around the waterpark, but for safety reasons, those and other small loose items are not allowed on rides. You don't have to walk all the way back to your locker near the entrace to chuck those items in; most, if not all the thrill rides have a set of lockers near their stairs, so just put lock your stuff in with a code of your choice and you're good to go!

The best part? These lockers are completely free of charge!

~ ~ ~

 GET TWICE THE EXCITEMENT WITH 1-FOR-1 PROMOS AT DOWNTOWN EAST

 

Image source: Downtown East

Great news: as part of Downtown East's Seeing Double promo, you'll get to enjoy 1-for-1 admission to Wild Wild Wet if you turn up dressed identically in a pair from now till 31st July 2017!

Other 1-for-1 Seeing Double deals include 50% off stays at D'Resort, 1-for-1 bowling games at Orchid Bowl, and 1-for-1 playtime at eXplorerkid. So it's time to get out all your couple clothing, and get creative in being matchy-matchy, for loads of fun-filled family time! :D

Click HERE for more information.

CONTEST: STAND TO WIN A 2D1N D'RESORT STAYCATION PACKAGE

 

Take part in Downtown East's Twin & Win Instagram contest and stand to win a 2D1N staycation package at D'Resort! All you have to do is:

1. Snap a picture with your twinning buddy in identical outfits (it could be a friend or family member, doesn't matter!)

2. Upload it on Instagram with the hashtag #SeeingDoubleSG

There are two runs to this contest, the first ending on 30th June 2017, and the second ending on 31st July 2017.

More info on prizes and instructions below (click to enlarge):

Image source: Downtown East

Good luck!

Visit Downtown East's website to find out more about The Woosh, Seeing Double promotions, and the Twin & Win contest.

This post was sposored by Sample Store and Downtown East/Wild Wild Wet, but all opinions are my own.

Trash > Human

So I had a real shit day the other day, which began with a bad start at work. I can't bitch about what people at work did here but let's just say I was PISSED.

Then I found a random new feathery cat toy on the floor so I thought I'd play with Eraser...she was jumping and running all over the place like she was on steroids but I suspect she became agitated from all the (over?)stimulation and she got super angsty. She didn't wanna be pet and everytime I went over to stroke her she'd get up, walk a few steps away, and sit back down again. Note that this is not normal because out of everyone in the office, Eraser loves me the most and that is a fact (will blog about her sometime!!!)

Eraser being unhappy made me unhappy and I didn't want her to be unhappy so I left her to cool down by herself. She then came back to me and sat under my desk for a little cat nap but then the ass crack of the sky decided to split apart and let out horrifying bouts of thunder and lightning and she got scared and jumpy :( SAD SMOOSHYPOO = SAD RACHIEPOO. Plus thunderstorms get me all depressed too.

AND THEN I was looking forward to my damn overdue hair treatment after work but even THAT, a PAMPERING SESSION, turned out to be one of the WORST parts of my day.

So a few months back I bought this scalp treatment package from Jean Yip. I normally wouldn't even THINK of patronising Jean Yip because I've seen a lot of my friends go in there for haircuts and emerge fugly, but I went for a free trial sesh (with the full intention of rejecting the hard selling that would come later) and that shit actually WORKED like there was a significant difference in the "before" and "after" scans - in the sense that my scalp was less oily and follicles less clogged - so I signed up for a 10-session package at a special first-time-customer price of less than $50 per treament. With the intention of never renewing my package and going DIY instead because after that the prices will just go up and anything more than $50 for a place like Jean Yip is too much.

The person who does the hair shit for me there is one of the more senior staff, and I booked my appointment under her as usual. But that day she was nowhere to be found and this random Malaysian ah lian did it for me. I highly suspect she was a trainee becuase she was inexperienced as fuck, kept poking me with her fucking nails and when she washed my hair SHE USED HER FUCKING NAILS ON MY SCALP.

She didn't even make sure the water was cool enough and even the mere act of WRAPPING THE TOWEL AROUND MY HEAD caused me pain. I don't know how either, but I guess it takes a certain kind of stupid to do that.

WTF. I hope she punctures her nostrils with her nails when she digs her nose and her nose will require plastic surgery to look the same again except when she gets plastic surgery her nose will end up even uglier than it was before. And also the same for her anus when she's wiping her butt.

I really REALLY regret not fucking her up. The only reason why I didn't was because I was already too damn tired and had no energy to let my not-so-inner bitch dragon out. Nvm, I know her name and during my next treatment I will complain to my regular person. That is, if they don't give me yet ANOTHER stupid Malaysian ah lian.

I'll have you know my scalp has never felt so stressed in my life and IT STILL HURT EVEN AFTER 30 MINUTES FROM THE END OF TREATMENT WTF. WHAT THE FUCK DO I PAY $50 A MONTH FOR? To get my scalp DAMAGED??? JEEZ.

I HOPE SHE GOES BALD BY 30 BUT ALL HER HAIR IN UNDESIRABLE PLACES WILL THICKEN BY THE DOUBLE.

Malaysian ah lians, Malaysian ah lian standards...GET ME OUTTA HERE.

Anyway, Malaysian chao ah lians or not, I've already decided that once this package ends I'm going to just rely on Lush's Roots scalp mask and have it DIY style.

I'll tell you guys about how the hair treatment works if I remember next time/if I don't have anything better to talk about (ie probably never lo) but anyway back to that fateful day.

Blah blah blah and then I got on my feeder bus and just as I was about to sit down, I noticed a piece of folded up paper on the seat next to mine. Like what the fuck, after all this I still gotta deal with TRASH? But hey, I thought, better trash than human. If the trash on the next seat allows me to sit in complete solitude, why not right? Anyway it was just paper, not some crumpled up mucus-drenched piece of tissue.

As the bus drove off and I was already comfortably seated alone, I somehow decided to pick up the piece of paper and unfolded it. Lo and behold..............

IT WAS A $1 VOUCHER FOR SOME GOOD PIZZA. AND IT WASN'T EVEN EXPIRED. FUCK YEAH.

Moral of the story? Trash > human.